What Does Sugar Think About?

It's very hard to know. As a nouvelle Animaliste I'm at a particular loss to know what a French Poodle (now of the Jewish persuasion) thinks about. Does she wonder about her Creator? Does she fret over her shortcomings? Sometimes I see her stare off into space. Only for a moment though. Then a dust mote catches her eye and she jumps for it. Sometimes I suppose she just feels happy, for no identifiable reason, and she runs round in little circles. Why can't I be like that? At least a little bit.


Sugar's life is lovely and simple. All her needs are met. If a need isn't met, she knows how to ask for it. She nudges me toward the kitchen counter if it's five minutes past five. If she has an accident, she feels free about it, aware that I know it was my fault for not getting her to her proper elimination station at the right time. She's never punished or made to feel guilty. What would be the use of trying to make her feel guilty? Dogs are incapable of guilt. They only know love/approval vs. fear. And we never want her to fear us. But we do insist on respect. Sorta.

Luckily, Sugar's the genius of the canine world, as has been often stated, and she knows how to pretend to respect her Humans. She's so smart, that as I write these words, I realize she took advantage of my distraction and has been off to the antique hall table to chew on its claw's feet. Did I yell "Bad Sugar?" Of course not. I'm an enlightened Animalist. I hollered "EHH," in a terrifying voice. We never tell animals they are bad. I learned that from books. But the books also inform us that dogs don't understand English. So what's the difference between "Bad girl" and "EHH?" Nothing.

As with the raising of children, it's not what you say so much as how you say it. The expression of love, the expression of firmness -- both of these, let us hope, result in a good little animal. A friend for life.

P.S. While I was busy playing at the keyboard, Sugar gummed one of my favorite clogs, left stupidly under my desk. Fair game. I kept my cool though. Replaced it with a chew toy, in which she has absolutely no interest. Who can blame her? A cool leather shoe versus a chew toy? Come on...